I am continuing to play this game. No matter how much the game grows steadily more heavy-handed with its morality and increasingly more lazy with its deus ex machina plot elements I will not quit it.

Wow.

Consider that my non-ringing endorsement.

Whoa! A Communism wait-in-line for products simulator! I never did this in my initial playthrough as a youth and I didn’t really miss much.
I saw this meme on 4chan while I was spending some time browsing. I thought it was kind of amusing, then…
…I saw this version of the meme and I could not agree more with it. Every retro game that I play makes me hate retro games more and hate the entire concept of nostalgia; I hate that my brain creates the feelings of nostalgia. What a waste of time and effort – the only thing worse is that there is no contemporary media, of any kind (video game, book, film) that manages to captivate me, let along hold my interest.
If you discount items that are plot-specific, there are only two types of items in the game: red jewels and herbs. The red jewels don’t really make sense as an inventory item since they can be “sent” to their dropoff point without any resource expenditure (except for a few seconds of time) and basically serve to clutter your inventory otherwise. Honestly, this game has such a cool-looking inventory screen and they waste it by having the inventory be totally fucking useless. Just make the “B” button the “herb button” and have the only-can-be-used-in-one-place items just be unseen flags stored in RAM. Fuck, I am getting super cynical here, but honestly, was this fucker playtested? Did I not give a shit as a youth? AM I too critical now? Whatever, weed joke. Fuck you.
I was thinking about making this entire post somewhat humourous and drug-related, and well, the more I think about it, I just don’t care.
Drug reference. Laugh.
I have distinct memories of the enemy here…
…I don’t know why, but I really liked the mobile-shrub/mimic enemy. It is still kind of fun now. Oh well.

Nostalgia is poison and I am dying. Stay tuned for the next post!


More information about the “hit your head” meme at knowyourmeme.