I don’t know why, but I really like malt liquor. I also really like when movies and television shows make up fake or parody brands to add to the “lore” of their broadcasts; so I guess it is only natural for me to be interested in fictional malt liquor brands.

Anyway, here are my Top Ten favrioutes:

10. Black Death Malt Liquor

Just knowing that this television show existed makes me feel old. The “Black Death” brand was featured prominently in clothing on WKRP in Cincinatti, which isn’t as cool as you might be thinking, but unfortunately the iconic 40oz never received a proper screen presence.

9. Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor

There is some weird correlation between television shows about radio stations and malt liquor, but I am not able to figure out how it fits into the Illuminati’s world domination plan… …Yet. “Rocket Fuel” was featured in an episode of News Radio and poked fun at one of the bigger customer bases for malt liquor in general.

That’s Phil Hartman. You might know him as Troy McClure or Lionel Hutz.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

8. Olde Fortran

Futurama isn’t shy about alcohol consumption, so it is no surprise that they parodied a very popular brand.

7. Alamo Malt

Alamo Beer plays a big role in King of the Hill, but it is largely in the background until Bobby gets his hands on a 40oz of Alamo Malt and it is television gold.

Fan-made label for the non-malt liquor variety…

6. Various – Saturday Night Live

SNL makes a lot of parody commercials, and a lot of them have been fantastic over the years, but my favourites have always been the malt liquor advertisements. Here are three great ones: A.M. Ale, which is specifically designed for breakfast drinking; Cold Cock; and, Bolt 45.

Maybe you have had a morning tipple from a 40oz?

Bonus Cold CockV ideo that wordpress refuses to embed embed.

5. St. Dies

If you ever watched ghetto comedies in the late nineties, Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood or simply, Don’t be a Menace, was probably familiar to you. The movie features St. Dies, which is a parody of the seminal St. Ides.

4. Laughing Clown

This particular malt liquor existed only in the world of the movie Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby before an actual clown made it into a real beer that seems to have been produced to mock fans of malt liquor. Unfortunately the product only appeared as the livery on one of the title character’s car.

3. Anaconda Malt Liquor

The neo-blaxploitation movie Black Dynamite has a plot that centres around this fictional malt liquor and how it is being used by the government to shrink the size of the drinker’s dick. Think about that for a minute.

This fan made logo is actually cooler than the logo in the movie, but that one is still cool.
Does this feel 70’s to you?

2. Olde Iraqi

The parody movie Hot Shots Part Deux features another parody of Olde English “800” and is made all the better for being in the movie for a few seconds, just long enough for keen observers to get that special feeling of joy.

Of all of the brands on this list, Olde Iraqi is the one that I wish actually existed the most.

1. Killer, Satan, Cult 45

This could have easily been three entries thanks to the parody film Scary Movie, which had an amazing array of sight gags and parodies like these. Three popular brands are parodied here: Colt 45, Schlitz, and Miller Genuine Draft.

Here is a dream fridge.

I hope you hated this list!