Drawn to the Sea: The Book

There is something that you should know; correction, there are many things that you should know. I am, by no means, an authority on what knowledge is required, but, I do know that one something that you should know: Lard Queen is not my actual name.

Yes, consider it a confession, I live a lie on the internet, writing my opinion anonymously and haphazardly. Well now you can hold me to account, because I have a new book for sale that you might be interested in.

I have written a lot about ships on this site (Drawn to the Sea I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII), so it may not come as a surprise that I have written a book about nautical matters. Unlike those posts, this book is focused more on the supernatural, rather than the actual weird on-goings of ships and mariners.

Overall I have a weird relationship with the sea. I am very interested in ships, mariners, and the places where the land and sea meet; but, more than anything, I am interesting the strange and paranormal things that occur on the seas. This strange relationship of mine, I can’t explain it, but in this book, I don’t even try to explain it, I show it.

Anyway, here it is:

Lee Santos presents five ghostly and spooky tales from Canada’s Atlantic Provinces. In his travels in the area, Lee Santos was awed with the abundance of old wives’ tales, creep stories, strange occurrences, encounters with the paranormal, and other inexplicable happenings.

These five stories span the length and breadth of the region and are among some of the lesser known and less-told stories, tales that are normally too frightening and shocking for a wide audience, but they are brought to the light in this collection by Lee Santos.

– Back Cover

Are these true tales? Maybe you should consider asking yourself if anything is true. Think about, all you know is based on your frail human observations using your frail human senses. Even Descartes had to admit that everything beyond existence relies on believing, and…

Image Source: desktopbackground.org, but let’s be honest here, Disney now owns the X-Files, so all credit that way. Side note: Dana Scully Disney Princess when?

The most important fact (that is, for me, who wants to sell books) is where you can get yourself a copy. Like many others, I have laid down any sense of honour or independence and submitted to Amazon for production and distribution (it’s not that bad) for the book. You can it available in the following formats:

– Canada: Physical, Ebook
– United States: Physical, Ebook
– Other Regions: please search on your platform!

Maybe you want to know what the content of the book is like, well, do I have a treat for you. Below is the whole of one of the stories that appears in the book, High Point Lighthouse.

“I want to go to the lighthouse,” said Zoe as she finished chewing on a mouthful of French fries.

“Great! Let’s drive down to the marina, we can get out on my boat in no time,” replied John as he threw into the trash the ketchup-soaked cardboard box that had only recently been full of French fries.

“No,” she paused, half smiling, “I mean, let’s drive to the actual lighthouse. We’ve seen it lots from the boat, but I want to see it close-up,” her half smile turning into a full smile, hoping to convince her boyfriend who went from enthusiastic to dour as she spoke.

“Why do you want to go there?” he asked as he stood up and reached into his pocket for his car keys.

“I don’t know,” she was being honest, “I just want to. Maybe you can take some pictures of me. You know, like those ones you took of me on your boat?”

The offer was compelling enough for John and in moments they were heading away from the chip truck and down the old highway towards the High Point Lighthouse. John liked to listen to political talk radio, even though it just made him angry, but he didn’t seem to be listening as he drove.

“Can we listen to some music?” asked Zoe, “if that’s alright with you?”

“Sure,” said John, his tone was dead, he kept staring straight ahead at the road as he blindly pushed buttons on the car radio until an upbeat pop song filled the car.

The drive was scenic, first passing along the coast, then slightly inland through some farming country before passing through a small stretch of forested land that started on a slight incline. Just a few moments later John turned the car onto the gravel road leading towards the rocky High Point. It never occurred or seemed strange to Zoe that John knew exactly how to get to the lighthouse as if he had been there before.

John rounded a bend in the gravel road and the High Point Lighthouse came into view. After stopping the car in the makeshift parking lot, Zoe and John got out and started heading towards the lighthouse.

“Oh, there is a gate in the fence!” Zoe noted, “Do you think anyone still lives here?”

“They made a gate in the fence after people kept breaking in,” John said in an even monotone, “the lighthouse was automated in the 1960’s and hasn’t had a keeper since.”

“Wow!” exclaimed Zoe, “how do you know so much about this lighthouse?”

John stopped in his tracks and turned to face Zoe directly; she also stopped, a slight look of confusion on her face.

“My grandfather was a fisherman,” said John.

“Oh, just like you!” Zoe replied happily – in all of the time she had been together with John he had barely mentioned his family at all.

“When he met my grandmother he became a lighthouse keeper; here, at High Point so that he could spend more time with her,” John said, his voice and tone still locked in dead evenness.

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Zoe said while clasping her hands together, miming a pose that she saw once on a cheap romance novel.

“After the lighthouse was automated he went back to trawling,” John continued, “and one time when he was returning from a long voyage he saw something peculiar in the light cast from this very lighthouse.”

John’s monotone broke, his voice became more sinister with each word he said; and as his tone grew more grim, Zoe grew more and more frightened by this dark side of her boyfriend that she had never seen before. 

“When he reached the pier he immediately came here,” John thrust a pointing finger at the lighthouse behind him, his voice rising in anger, “he found his wife in the arms of another man, she had been cheating on him.”

“Oh God, that’s terrible!” Zoe said, her pulse raced as she felt sorrow and fear as John told his story.

“He, my grandfather,” John’s voice cracked slightly, and tears showed in the corners of his eyes, “he killed them both. Then, then he hanged himself in that very lighthouse…”

“No, it can’t be, you’re telling me a tall tale,” Zoe said as she folded her arms across her chest and unknowingly took a few small steps backwards.

“I think you’ve been cheating on me,” said John, the words dripping off his tongue like a bitter solvent, “I know you’ve been cheating on me!”

“W-What?” yelled Zoe in surprise.

The distant screech of metal grinding on metal could be heard from the lighthouse as the large bulb turned off of its normal pattern. The light, so powerfully bright, cast a shadow behind Zoe, even in the daylight of early afternoon.

“The lighthouse knows,” said John, his tone low, prophetic.

“No!” screamed Zoe as she turned to flee. 

Just like his grandfather some 60 years earlier, he seized his lover. She resisted, but the source of his strength was preternatural and he gripped Zoe by the throat and squeezed the life from her.

“I understand,” said John as he let Zoe’s body droop to the ground.

The door unlocked for him as he approached, and inside he found a length of rope next to a sign warning workers that they need to tie off when performing periodic maintenance on the automatic lighting system. Like his forebear before him, John was found hanging from the neck.

Did you like it? Buy it! Did you hate it? Buy it and then burn it!*
– Canada: Physical, Ebook
– United States: Physical, Ebook
– Other Regions: please search on your platform!

*Not recommended for the ebook version.
All other images copyright 2020 Lee Santos
All text copyright 2020 Lee Santos

Top 10 Halloween Albums

I am listing this in no particular order, but they are my ten favourite Halloween Albums of this year!

Not this kind of spooky. Source.

If you haven’t already, you really should get rid of your “Spooky Sounds” CD (surely I can’t be the only one that still has CDs?) from 1996 (maybe you should also think about getting rid of your well-worn copy of “Now That’s What I Call Music!” also?).

Anyway, the “Monster Mash” isn’t really compelling Halloween music unless you have a real thing for campy trash or you run a daycare (in which case, uh, okay, I guess). There is a ton of truly excellent Halloween/Horror Movie (I mean, aren’t those two almost synonymous?) music that has been made that doesn’t make you want to rip off your face so that you can die and simply become another tacky piece of Halloween décor.

I am listing this in no particular order, but they are my ten favourites of this year!

Slasher Dave – Tomb of Horror

If you have ever seen an 80’s horror movie, (and you really should if you haven’t) then this music should really conjure up those same feelings. The production quality on this album is truly excellent and considering how atmospheric the album is, the consummate professionalism of this album really makes it an experience to remember.

Recommended Listening: during a fall drive, a night of (preferably horror-themed) gaming, or listen with headphones as you deliriously stumble around in the dark in a perpetual state of terror.

Acid Witch – Evil Sound Screamers

This album is a bit more on the intense side of things, a bit more horrific, and pretty pulse-pounding. I don’t think it is possible to have a relaxing night at home while listening to this, the paranoia that it causes leads to frenzied fits of screaming.

Recommended Listening: driving on the freeway without headlights or for being alone in the dark being pursued by a relentless murderer.

Goblin – Suspiria

A classic, and let’s just underline this, not the new one, with that guy from Radiohead. Goblin is an Italian prog-rock band that, due to cosmic powers, were unable to stop making excellent soundtracks for numerous Italian horror movies. The title track from the Suspiria album is delirious and infectious, the quick pace really amps up the intensity.

Recommended Listening: I mean ideally listen to the soundtrack while watching the eponymous source movie.

Hollywood Burns – Invaders

Cinematic is the best way to describe this album, and the cinema that it draws its influence from are thrillers and horror films of the 80’s and 90’s. Every track is able to bring you to a faraway time and place, and once there, drive you to the edge.

Recommended Listening: waiting for the bus, in the office, or when you are running through a parking garage with a horde of undead chasing you.

Gost – Possessor

This album is filled with intensity. Each track has a creepy intro followed by a driving beat that hearkens to intense chases.

Recommended Listening: while going for a personal best time running or biking, trying to stay awake during a never-ending night, or when working on a spreadsheet or essay.

John Carpenter – Lost Themes

So, John Carpenter has been responsible for a host of fantastic horror movies, but not everyone knows that he often does his own music for his films. This album is a collection of songs that he made for the sheer pleasure of making them, none of them are tied to a specific film or franchise.

Recommended Listening: sitting alone in the dark crying because you will never get to watch The Thing for the first time ever again.

Carpenter Brut – Blood Machines OST

So basically the movie that this album is the “Official Soundtrack” to is a glorified 50-minute music video, which, considering how music videos have died, is fairly neat in a retro-sense. The music is, like many of the other synthwave/darkwave albums on this list, driving, intense, and evocative of an era gone by.

Recommended Listening: for when trying to make minute rice in less than a minute.

Blood Lord – Unwelcome Guests

If you have ever had the nightmare of being trapped in a vampire-themed videogame from the late 1980’s, then this would have been the soundtrack. If the scenario described in that sentence doesn’t appeal to you, I have to wonder about what kind of inane preferences you have.

Recommend Listening: being trapped in a vampire-themed videogame from the late 1980’s.

b l a c c l o d g e – the back wards

A vaporwave entry on the list, this is a much slower, relaxed, and atmospheric album. Like a lot of vaporwave, this involves a lot of samples, most of which have been significantly distorted or manipulated.

Recommended Listening: like most ambient albums, this one pairs best with reading; or, if you are in the mood to be driven permanently insane, you might consider listening to this while you sleep, but don’t blame me for the agonizing metamorphosis that you will go through.

Wolfmen of Mars – The Spectral Sounds of Space

Of all of the albums on this list, this is certainly the “spookiest” of them all. It is a strictly ambient album without the typical musical progression of a traditional “song” or you know, something like that.

Recommended Listening: exploring a haunted house, hiding in your basement during an alien invasion, or hiding in your basement from your friends and family.

Well, that’s my list. Let me know in the comments what your favourites are!

Welcome to my first post

SimmyDizzle introducing himself, expect lots to come!

Everyone needs a first post

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post for my new website, I will be posting new material daily (I hope) so keep checking in and I’ll be sure to have something new!

So let me introduce myself, I am a Canadian Armed Forces Veteran, active video gamer, food enthusiast, and I am attempting to be a strongman.

I hope to see you all back on my site in the near future as I post recipes, video game reviews, and obviously fitness related posts.

#Fitness – SimmyDizzle – New Video: April 05, 2016 at 02:04AM

Killing #ChestDay the only way #SimmyDizzle knows how. By moving weight and lots of it. Fly machine for the stack, 250lbs like a boss. Feeling great. This chest day has been amazingly fun and full of excitement. That’s the first time I put the fly machine to its max and it moved perfectly. Super happy about that!! I cannot complain about today. Someone else may. Naysayers be hating but one thing is certain I won’t give up. Ever. Now to have a protein shake and hit the showers. Sorry ya’ll no shower photos 😛 #Gym #Fitness #WeightTraining #LiftAllTheThings #LiftingHeavy, #LiftHeavy #FitnessJourney #IronBorn #IronAddict #ISYMFS #GymTime #gymharderthanme #getrekt #loveit #lovethegym #Hashtag #FlyMachine #OHBaby!

#Fitness – SimmyDizzle’s post for April 05, 2016 at 01:08AM

Proof that @leedentremont was at the gym!! This is a day or two old now. Was on backday. He started with deaths row. And I finished with it as I was here first Great way to start a #BackDay . One of my favourites. #Fitness #Gym #GymSelfie #GuyInGreenIsLee #LiftingHeavy #LiftAllTheThings #WeightTraining #ironaddict #IronBorn #gymharderthanme #getrekt #gymstyle #illbesoretomorrow #Hashtag #SimmyDizzle via Instagram http://ift.tt/1W84WAo
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